Many
women complain that their vaginas are "too tight" or "too
loose," and many men raise the issue about lovers. Notions of vaginal
tightness and looseness are fraught with mythology. Many people believe that
(1) the virgin vagina is extremely tight, (2) that loss of virginity
permanently loosens it, (3) that frequent sex loosens it further (so don't be promiscuous, girls!), and
(4) that childbirth loosens the vagina even more and possibly forever after. The truth is considerably different.
VAGINAL TIGHTNESS
Imagine a hand towel stuffed inside a thick sock squeezed by two
hands. The sock is the vagina. The towel is the folded muscle tissue of the
vaginal wall. And the hands are the pelvic floor muscles that surround the
vagina.
The vagina's tightly folded muscle tissue is very elastic, like an
accordion or the mouth. Try this: Pull the corners of your mouth out toward
your ears then let go. What happens? The mouth immediately snaps back to its
pre-stretched state because the tissue is elastic. Do it 100 times. There's no
permanent stretching. The mouth quickly returns to its pre-stretched state and
no one would ever know you'd stretched it.
The same goes for the vagina, with two exceptions I'll discuss
shortly. When it's at rest–all the time except sexual arousal and
childbirth–the vagina's muscle tissue remains tightly folded like a closed
accordion. Anxiety makes the vaginal musculature
clench even tighter. That's why young girls sometimes have problems inserting
tampons. Their vaginal muscle tissue is tight and contracted to begin with, and
many girls feel anxious about touching themselves and inserting anything, so
the muscles contract even tighter.
As women become sexually aroused, vaginal muscle tissue relaxes
somewhat. Biologically, this makes perfect sense. Evolution is all about
facilitating reproduction. A tight vagina would impede intercourse and
reproduction, so women evolved to have sexual arousal relax the vaginal
muscles, allowing easier insertion of erections–and greater chance of pregnancy.
However, arousal-related vaginal loosening does NOT produce a big
open cavity like the inside of a sock. Rather, the vaginal interior changes
from resembling a tight fist to a fist loose enough to insert a finger or two.
If the vagina feels "too tight" during lovemaking, the
woman is either (1) not interested in sex, or (2) she has not had enough
warm-up time to allow her vaginal musculature to relax enough for comfortable
insertion.
A man who attempts intercourse before the woman is fully
aroused–before her vagina has relaxed and become well lubricated–is either
sexually unsophisticated or a boor. Most women require at least 30 minutes of
sensuality—kissing, hugging, and mutual massage for their vaginas to relax
enough to allow the penis to slide in comfortably. That's why leisurely,
playful, whole-body lovemaking is so important. It gives women (and men) the
warm-up time they need. In addition, it also allows the vagina to relax, and,
in most women, produce enough natural lubrication for comfortable intercourse.
In other words, the solution to vaginal tightness is extended foreplay. It you
need more lubrication, try a commercial lubricant.
One final note: If a woman experiences pain and/or great
difficulty inserting a tampon or accepting an erection, the cause may be
vaginismus, unusual clenching of the vaginal muscles. For suspected vaginismus,
consult a physician.
VAGINAL LOOSENESS
After relaxing during sex, vaginal muscle tissue naturally
contracts—tightens—again. Intercourse does NOT permanently stretch the vagina.
This process, loosening during arousal and tightening afterward, happens no
matter how often the woman has sex.
The vagina stretches a great deal during childbirth, like an
accordion opened all the way.Post-partum does
it re-tighten completely? Yes, usually, at least in young women, that is, women
in their late teens and early twenties. Within six months after delivery, the
typical young woman's vagina feels pretty much how it was before she gave
birth.
Now for the two exceptions. If you stretch elastic a great deal,
over time, it fatigues and no longer snaps back entirely. That can happen to
the vaginas of young women after multiple births. Their vaginal muscles fatigue
and no longer fully contract. In addition, agingfatigues vaginal muscle. Whether or not
women have given birth, as they grow older, they may complain of looseness.
Today, many woman delay childbearing until after 30, and some have
children after 40. Combine the rigors of older childbearing with the effects of
aging on the vaginal muscles, and many women complain of looseness. Women who
give birth after around 30 may notice persistent looseness after delivering
only one child. Individual differences account for the fact that birth—and
age—related looseness happens to some women and not others.
Here's a quick fix for vaginal looseness. Have intercourse in the
man-on-top position. Once he inserts, he lifts himself up and the woman closes
her legs. Her thighs squeeze his penis and make her feel tighter.
The tightening approach most often recommended by sex therapists
is Kegel exercises. Kegels, named for the doctor who popularized them, involve
contracting the muscles used to interrupt urine flow or squeeze out the last
few drops.
Culled: Viginal tightness and Looseness
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